Baby Abrams- How We Found Out Part II

Gracious, the days are flying by and this little preggo lady can't seem to get her life organized enough to make time for proper bloggage (is that even a word!?).

And, to be honest,  I still sometimes get so nervous and scared between OB appointments that I just cannot bring myself to write about the pregnancy. True story--so envious sometimes of the mommies out there who pregnancy seems so easy for, at least mentally/emotionally, and I know that part of that could be that its not as fun to write about the worry/fears/anxiety. But, man oh man, it can be so hard at times. I definitely plan to share more about my personal experiences with pregnancy after a loss.

But, on to How We Found Out-- Part II! You can catch up on Part I of how we found out we were pregnant here. :)

So, it was December 6th (a Saturday) when we got our first positive pregnancy test. We didn't even think about waiting to tell our parents in a cute little way this time. I remember the conversations being very guarded-- like, "Yes this is exciting, but we are obviously not getting our hopes up this time around." Our families were excited and I think a little shocked--other than my mom who had been totally in the loop with all of my tracking, etc and was holding on to the same little shred of hope that I had been! I also couldn't resist from telling my college bestie, Beebs, because she had been a huge part of my pregnancy/miscarriage the first time around and we constantly text, which was perfect for me because I just wasn't yet ready to talk about it "out loud."

I was heading down to Wilmington that Sunday for a Dr.'s appointment that Monday, and of course the pregnancy announcement being the surprise that it was threw a wrench in the plan because my family had just painted the kitchen of our house. Paint fumes + pregnancy = no bueno. But, luckily I was able to stay at Kyle's parents' house and we had a lot of running around town to do, so avoiding my family's house wasn't too much of an issue. :) It also gave a nice excuse to tell my grandparents, who live with my parents and would obviously wonder why I wasn't staying there! I also told my brother, his fiancee, and my Bible study leader from middle/high school who I adore that Sunday night when our family went Christmas caroling with our church. It was nice to feel like I was collecting my prayer warriors from the get go this time around.

The family out Christmas caroling! Trying to distract myself from the nerves!

I had to visit our blueberry plant that we planted in memory of the baby we lost while home.

The next steps were to get scheduled with our OBGYN. We went for our first appointment really early in the pregnancy--so early that when I took the urine test they almost didn't even think I was pregnant because it took longer than normal for the line to show up.  My cycle was all screwed up, so they were counting from my last missed period, which would have put me ahead 2 weeks of where I actually was in the pregnancy. I finally slightly convinced them that I was pretty positive I knew the two possible conception dates.  We had started not trying to prevent for a weekend before seeing my endocrinologist who said to not try for the next six weeks. They said I'd need to take a blood test that day and come back in two days to see if some level had doubled, to indicate that a pregnancy was progressing normally.

I literally cried while talking to the nurse on that Thursday when I went for my 2nd round of blood work. She said, "Well, do you feel pregnant?," and I could barely choke out the words "I don't even know." That nurse was so incredibly sweet and will forever be my favorite nurse. She gave me tissues and just said to call her tomorrow and ask specifically for her, and she'd tell me the results instead of having to wait for the message in the patient portal to show up.

And you know I called back as soon as they were open that very next day and was so relieved to hear that the levels looked good and that they wanted to see me for an ultrasound that next week.

What a difference a week makes! A definite confidence booster!

Our first ultrasound for this pregnancy was terrifying. The last time I'd been in an ultrasound my heart was shattered into pieces. I was glad that we had switched OBs, so I wouldn't have to be going back into that same room. I was very open with the new ultrasound tech about how nervous we were, and she was so responsive and caring the whole time. We ended up being able to see the gestational sac, but it was too early to see a heartbeat. She said everything looked normal for where we thought we were in the pregnancy-- about 5 weeks along.

The HARDEST part was having to wait until January for our next appointment, which meant we went through the holidays just hoping and praying that things were O.K. I pushed through a Bachelorette weekend in Charleston for my childhood bestie, Kristen and was so thankful to those girls for being super understanding! And Christmas was just a roller-coaster. I was so "in-my-head" and would literally spend afternoons in bed just in tears because I was having cramping and just feeling so weird. Kyle was the absolute best and continues to be as far as support goes. The girls in my family were also beyond amazing and were such good listeners. I was so touched by the gift of  the most adorable stuffed teddy bear from Harrods that my sweet cousin, Anna, brought back from England for future Baby A without even knowing we were pregnant. It meant so much to know that even when we were at times doubting that we would be pregnant again or have a successful pregnancy that she took the leap of faith that we would. And, it was such a special gift because her parents were the ones who brought me my very favorite stuffed animal, a lion I named Esther). I also got a "good-luck" belly pat from baby Edith (my cousin, Kathleen's, precious 7 month old!).

Such a fun weekend in Charleston celebrating this sweet friend! Luckily my pregnancy symptoms weren't terrible that weekend! And, I did enjoy a nice mocktail!

Kyle and I got a secret kick out of playing Mary and Joseph for my Grandparents' old retirement home knowing that I was actually pregnant! 

Our last Christmas just the two of us!

New Year's Eve-- pretending I just didn't want to drink. ;)

And, as slowly as the days passed, it was FINALLY January 6th and time for our 8 week ultrasound appointment.

I cried happy tears when the tech pointed out the heartbeat to our precious little one! Kyle and I were so relieved, especially because getting to this point meant that we had already made it further into the pregnancy than we did our last one.

I'd love to say that all of our worries were washed away, but that wasn't the case, and it probably will not be the case until our precious baby is in our arms, healthy and happy (in which case all of the pregnancy fears will be gone and all of the parenting ones will kick in!).

But, how faithful God had been and continues to be. We hit the 19 week mark on Saturday!