Oliver- {One Month}

9.22.15

Dear Oliver,

You are one month old today, and we can't believe how quickly time is flying! Mommy might have shed a few tears leading up to today. You will never know how much you have blessed our lives, and even though this has been a tiring month, it has been the best month of our lives! Being your parents is the most fulfilling adventure we've ever embarked on, and we are so in love with you!

Your daddy and I are just enamored with you, and I can't even count the number of times we've just looked at each and said things like, "I can't believe he's here" or "I just love him so much" or "He's so precious." You are so cute, and we could just eat you up! You make the sweetest little noises and have some of the most precious facial expressions and movements. I love the way you stretch and push your little booty out when you're done feeding. And, you do an incredibly precious duck face. You also do have an "I'm unimpressed" face, and some funny ones, like your "poop face".  I seriously wish I could just capture all of this on video or in pictures because I never want to forget anything about you during this most sweet time.

You were 9 lbs. 4 oz. when you were born, but you lost weight in the hospital (down to 8 lbs., 6 oz). We worked super hard trying to get you back to birth weight, with a combination of breastfeeding, formula supplements, and pumped milk supplements. But don't you worry, you have certainly made up for that lost weight--and then some! You gained 10 oz. during your second week, and we were officially able to stop supplementing with formula-- just breastmilk for you now! At your one month appointment today you weighed 11 lbs. 9 oz (89th percentile!)-- holy smokes! I think we are all getting our arm workouts in lifting and holding you all day! You've also grown 1.5 inches since you were born, now measuring 23 inches (97th percentile!), and boy, your head-- soooo big-- 93rd percentile for head circumference! It's a good thing we didn't buy too many newborn clothes because you could only wear those for a hot second! We were worried you wouldn't even be able to use up the 2 packs of newborn diapers we had for you!

Baby boy, you are also so strong! You started holding your head up for a few seconds at a time around week 2, and every day we've noticed you holding it up longer and longer! You enjoy floor time (although you usually just stare at the ceiling or anything but the fun play gym we have for you!), and you are trying SO hard to roll over! Just a few days before 4 weeks you did roll over from tummy to back, and we were super excited to cheer you on! We know it's just a matter of time before you're rolling over from back to tummy! It's so cute to watch you try, and your daddy and I have to restrain ourselves from jumping in when you start to get frustrated!

You've been a great sleeper from the start, and we are so grateful for that! You take little 2-3 hour naps in the day, which is a nice time for us to catch up on things around the house and sometimes on sleep for ourselves! We used to have to wake you every 2-3 hours to feed at night, which usually meant we were up about 1-2 times during prime sleep hours, but now you're sleeping for longer chunks of time at night (and we were told we no longer had to wake you to feed between 12-6am), and we appreciate it so much! You love your Swaddleme infant wrap for nighttime sleeping, and you look like the most precious burrito baby when you have that on! You've been sleeping in the bassinet part of our pack-n-play right beside us, and make lots of precious baby sighs all night long. During the day your favorite place to nap is in the swing! The funny thing is that at night you are so great at self-soothing to sleep, but during the day, you absolutely (for themost part!) will not tolerate being put down in the swing, the rock-n-play, or the bouncer unless you are already asleep! It's OK though, because we love snuggling with you, especially when you fall asleep on our chests!

You're still making up your mind about bath time. Sometimes you're not having it, and you scream the whole time. Other times you're pretty chill and don't put up a fight. You absolutely love being snuggled up in your hooded bath towels afterwards, though!

You mostly only cry for four reasons-- when you're hungry, are having gas pains, need a diaper change, or are fighting sleep (which happens mostly during what we call your "witching hour" from 3-6pm). Somewhere around week two you did at least realize that getting a fresh diaper was a good thing and you stopped the tear fest during the diaper changes! When you're fighting sleep we have a number of tricks up our sleeves, but our last resorts are walking you up and down the stairs (which you love!) or putting you in the car-seat and either taking you for a walk or, as daddy has done a few times, just pushing the stroller around the downstairs! Car rides are also a full-proof way to help you get your snooze on, but we have not yet had to resort to taking you for a ride in the middle of the night--although daddy would secretly love this because he'd try to sneak in a trip to Waffle House with you!

For the most part you are a super chill baby! You've loved hanging out in your swing and your Boppy lounger. But, you really are happiest being held, which we are all happy to do! We've tried reading some books, but you'd rather just stare at the ceiling-- you are so fascinated by whatever it is up there that you like to look at! You also love looking at the photos on the wall in mommy and daddy's room!

We've gotten to go on a few outings, although they've mostly been to doctor's appointments. We did take a trip to Old Navy, Best Buy, and Target when you were 3 weeks old, and you were a rock-star and slept the whole time! Don't worry, month 2 is going to be full of many fun outings now that mommy is feeling so much better!

Finally, you've gotten to meet so many family members and friends this month and have been quite the host to lots of visitors! You are so, so loved!

And now for pictures galore...

We love you sweet, baby boy!

Love,
Mommy & Daddy

Oliver's Birth Story- Part 2!

I'm finally back with part 2 of Oliver's birth story-- finding time to blog with a newborn has proven quite the challenge--props to all of you mommas out there who manage to do this in a timely manner ;)

Let's see, where did we leave off in part 1!?

My water had, to our surprise, broken naturally around 1am, and they started me on the Pitocin not too long after! I was able to sleep for a little bit until around 3:30am when the pain got to the point where I asked for pain meds to help with contractions...#noshame. Clearly, I was not going to be one of those supermoms who can labor without anything to help in the pain department!  The meds knocked me out, and I was able to sleep until around 7:45am, when my mom arrived (with breakfast for Kyle...at least someone got to eat their promised breakfast!). Shortly after, my contractions really started to pick up, but I wasn't 4cm dilated, so I couldn't get the epidural just yet, which was not welcomed news considering the Pitocin made my contractions really painful, even with the pain meds.

Luckily, around 9:50am I was finally ready for the epidural. I always thought that I would at least try to wait until the very last second to get the epidural (and maybe even hoped that I would be able to deliver without having to get one!), but let me just tell you-- it was the best decision I ever made! I instantly felt so much better, and I was able to enjoy some labor-approved food--a popsicle, some beef broth, and some applesauce, courtesy of the "Coaches Corner" (which was a place where your peeps, aka the "Coaches" could go to get things needed to help make your labor as pleasant as possible!). And, I'm pretty sure within 10 seconds of eating I was fast asleep. I do think I remember seeing another very flattering snapchat that Kyle sent me right when I first dozed off--mouth open and everything. Remind me that next time I deliver I would like to hide his phone and revoke all camera privileges during the labor portion!

The rest of that morning and afternoon seemed to go by quickly--at least from Kyle's perspective since I don't remember much at all! We got into a nice little routine of rotating from side to side (since they didn't want me sleeping on my back with the epidural) as I continued to doze while Kyle and mom kept a close eye on the monitor to watch my contractions (since I couldn't feel them...thank you modern medicine!).

Late afternoon the epidural started to wear off, and I was experiencing excruciating pain in my back as Oliver was pushing down on my sciatic nerve. Honestly, I feel like I've had some experience with pain before and this pain was on a different level. Poor Kyle and my mom were killing their arms trying to fan me with each wave of pain, and I finally begged for an update to my epidural, which they administered around 4:45pm. I have to brag on the anesthesiologists at my hospital-- other than the first shot of the epidural I was sobbing when they entered my room, and all three of them were so incredibly kind and encouraging!

As soon as the epidural top-off started kicking in I felt so much better and the back-pain was miraculously gone. I was told that I was 7cm dilated, and I remember Kyle, mom, and me excitedly thinking that Oliver would be here by that evening at the rate I was moving! We tossed around guesses-- maybe 9pm, 10pm by the latest!

Spoiler alert--we were all wrong!

And guess what came back-- the terrible, terrible back pain-- followed by sobbing and begging the nurse for another top off of the epidural, which I got!

Which seemed to be the theme of the night-- back pain, epidural, amazing relief for about an hour/hour & a half. repeat. It was miserable until it wasn't. And then it was again!

The next thing we remember was getting checked and being told that we were 9cm and plus 1 (which has to do with where the baby's head is), which was just shy of the 10 cm and plus 2, which is what they want you to be when you are ready to start pushing.

Meanwhile, all of our family had started to trickle in and were starting their own little party in the waiting room! Kyle's parents, his brother, and his brother's girlfriend, as well as my dad, grandparents, brother, and sister-in-law were all there!

Around 11:30pm I had met the 10cm, but was still plus 1, so Dr. Schenkman decided that I could do some practice pushes, which ended up really working! It did take me a little while to get the hang of it, but I was able to get to a plus 2, so I could start the real pushing!

But first, more back pain! Followed by, you guessed it, another top-off of the epidural. ;)

The surprising part was that the contractions were hardly an issue for me and were totally doable for me to labor through, but the back pain was a different story. I could tell a huge difference (and so could Dr. Schenkman) when I tried to push while having the back pain versus when I pushed without the back pain. While these tops offs of the epidural were doing wonders for pain relief, it really took a toll on my labor progression, and my contractions slowed back down to 5 minutes apart. But, because  it was so clear the difference the epidural top-offs made for me as far as pushing, they kept allowing me to get them (even though I think they normally would discourage getting so many!).

I had my last epidural top-off and was ready to do the final round of pushing started a little before 2:30am. Because of how long it was taking and because we were afraid the back pain would come back again (and I was so exhausted) they decided to use a vacuum.

The hospital's procedure for vacuums called for a team from the NICU to be present to examine the babies right after they are delivered. Which meant that I now had about 9 other people in the room. And just imagine, the awkward silence and avoidance of eyes as we waited the 5 minutes between contractions for me to push and Dr. S to use the vacuum. But, at that point, I was too tired to care.

The rest of my delivery story gets a little too intense to go into a lot of details-- and trust me, I think those 30 or so minutes, it is safe to say, will be engrained in Kyle and my's memories forever (so no need to document!).

I will say that the vacuum popped off twice and since you can only use the vacuum 3 times, Dr. S decided not to try a 3rd time, and I finally was able to push enough to deliver our precious baby boy at 3:03am after over 3 hours of pushing and 31 hours of labor altogether! I could not have done it without my two amazing "coaches"-- Kyle and my mom. They were truly such rockstars!

Words will never be able to capture the relief and joy we felt seeing Oliver for the first time and knowing that he was finally here! I just kept saying over and over again, "I did it, I did it" and Kyle and my mom and I were just a tearful mess as Kyle cut the cord.

Oliver had to be handed over to the NICU team right away, and I wanted Kyle to be with him while they checked him out, and my mom stayed with me. Poor little guy had cuts on his head (and a cone head!) from the vacuum but luckily was fine otherwise and was able to come do a little skin-to-skin time with me. This was a moment I had dreamt about for the longest time, and it makes me so sad that I don't remember more about it as I was just in a daze because I had lost a lot of blood (4 units...in normal deliveries you lose about 1 unit). Kyle says that he remembers me being in a lot of pain but then instantly just smiling when they put him in my arms. I didn't get to hold him for long because of the condition I was in, but I am so grateful to the doctors and nurses who recognized the importance of this moment and let us have it for the brief time that they felt comfortable allowing.

Kyle was able to go out to tell our families, who amazingly had all stuck it out and were still at the hospital. I know that was such a special moment for him, proud new father and all (and I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see it!). Luckily, my sister-in-law, Hanna, made the most precious video, which captured a lot of their time in the waiting room and also the moment when Kyle came to share the good news!

Kyle showing my grandparents a picture of Oliver!

Unfortunately, , the nurses advised us not to have family come in the room to meet Oliver. I was so bummed because they had waited SO long, and I was so anxious to see them. But, I knew it was the best decision since I had a team of nurses all around me who were doing all kinds of fun things, like forcing an oxygen mask on me (which seriously terrifies me) and trying to draw blood--not happening after losing so much!

They did let Kyle's dad come into a little room off to the side of ours to briefly meet Oliver since he had to leave town.

I don't know what time we were finally all cleared to be left alone to get some sleep.  But I do remember feeling shocked and all like "say what-- I just labored for 31 hours and you want us to NOT SLEEP some more" when the nurses said that one of us would need to be awake watching Oliver for the whole rest of the night (slash really it was morning). Obviously we wanted our sweet boy by our sides but thought maybe the nurses would come and check on him-- #naive. Luckily, Kyle's mom offered to stay awake in the room to keep an eye on Oliver and let Kyle, my mom, and me sleep-- for all of like 2 hours before the nurses came in to move us to a different room!

Everyone else came back to the hospital later day to meet Oliver, and what joy there was in the room as baby boy was passed around from family member to family member! Oliver, everyone was so in love with you!

The rest of our hospital stay wasn't exactly fun-- jaundice for Oliver, blood transfusion for me, too much weight lost for Oliver, and PUPPS rash for me. But, we were blessed with the most amazing staff who took such great care of us and were so incredibly supportive. Not to mention, our families were amazing during those days-- someone was staying at the hospital with us practically at all times to help us be able to get some sleep or bring food. Even though our circumstances weren't exactly ideal and had been scary at times, I think we both knew how incredibly lucky we were that what we were dealing with was temporary and surmountable. Oliver spent one day under the blue light to help with his jaundice and needed continued exposure to sunlight over the next week. I would need time, tons of rest, (and lots of iron!) to regain my strength and energy levels. But, we were going to be just fine!

Thank you, Lord, for watching over Oliver and me as I brought him into the world! Thank you for this beautiful baby boy you have blessed us with. Thank you for surrounding us with people who love and support us and who do the same for our son. Thank you for helping me to trust in your plan!

Oliver, the day you were born is the most special day of our lives. There is no way for us to describe just how much we love you! We are so blessed to be your parents!

Here is the video Hanna made-- she did an amazing job capturing so many special moments, and Kyle and I cry every time we watch it!

Oliver's Birth Story- Part 1

I don't know whether to chalk it up to irony that our precious Oliver arrived a week late, considering all pregnancy long we were told how likely it was that I'd deliver early, or payback for the fact that my stubborn husband made his own grand entrance into the world TWO weeks late.

Past 40 weeks! Last belly pic!

Needless to say, when our due date came and went we were shocked, especially considering I was having absolutely NO signs of labor. In fact, other than major swelling in my feet and ankles (praise be for it being summer, since flip flops were the only shoes fitting!) and very, very light cramping for a hot second, I felt great (and by "great" I mean "great for being super pregnant") all the way through us starting the induction process!

My parents had come up the weekend of Oliver's due date, and we had the best time drinking chocolate milkshakes, playing Mille Borne (a card game they used to play when they were newlyweds!), and speculating if "today" would be the day that I went into labor. #falsehope

My dad left that Sunday, and we just knew I was going to go into labor the second he arrived back in Wilmington--but, oh no, Oliver had his own little schedule and all of our guesses about when he'd make his debut were wrong!

Where are you, Oliver!?

We at least knew that if Oliver didn't want to come on his own that we would go back to the doctor the Thursday after his due date (Aug. 20th) to check back in and schedule an induction, which could be for that night, or a night that weekend, just depending on the how many other deliveries were taking place.

One thing that was weighing on my heart all during this time was a devastating loss that my second-cousin had the week before. She was due with her first baby, a baby girl, a week or two before me, and they ended up losing their baby and having to deliver her still-born. My heart broke in a million pieces for them, and even though Kyle and I had the conversation about how for my sake, I almost needed to "numb" myself to their situation to get through Oliver's birth and to try to save my grieving for them until after he came, I just couldn't get it off of my mind. I know the pain of miscarriage--I couldn't (and still can't) fathom the pain of losing a baby at full-term. My anxiety started to take over,  and I decided on Monday to call my doctor and just explain everything that was going on and ask if we could go ahead and just schedule the induction for Thursday, instead of waiting until Thursday to schedule. She was so understanding and supportive, and got us scheduled for induction at 6pm Thursday night.

We would still go see her earlier on Thursday to check my dilation, and if I was 3cm or more, I could just go to the hospital on Friday morning to start Pitocin. If not, I'd check in Thursday night and take a cervix thinner and get a good night's sleep (hah--is that even possible at a hospital!?) before starting the Pitocin.

Obviously, we were also still incredibly hopeful that I'd go into labor on my own! I was trying every trick in the book-- eating tons of pineapple, dragging my large belly out the door for the slowest walks known to man, doing squats--heck, I even tried a labor inducing dance that my friend, Ally, told me about! No success-- just a lot of looking ridiculous ;)

Good gravy, that belly!

Thank you, Kyle, for these very flattering snaps during my labor inducing dance!

My mom stayed around that week to hang out with me, keep me from losing my mind from impatience, and watch Hart of Dixie (we quickly became obsessed!) while Kyle busily wrapped things up at work in preparation for taking a week off once baby boy arrived.

Wednesday night Kyle and I went to bed knowing that it very well could be our last night of uninterrupted sleep for a very long time. We shared a teary moment that I will always cherish before going to sleep--well,  I can't really remember if I slept or didn't--that night feels like it was forever ago!

I don't even remember much about that Thursday day other than that I remember feeling like all of a sudden there was so much to do, even though we'd been "ready" for weeks!

I do remember the amazing lunch my mom, Kyle, and I had lunch at Chipotle before our check-in with my OB. I think because I knew I wasn't going to be eating "real" food for a bit that I savored everything I ate leading up to induction!

Poor guy needed every bit of energy to coach me through that delivery!

Of course, I had made absolutely no progress with my dilation since the week before (I was still just 1cm), and the doc re-stripped my membranes (which wasn't nearly as painful the second time). We got directions about how to check in at the hospital, got all of the information about what Thursday night would entail with the cervix thinner, and were told that I'd be able to eat breakfast and get a shower on Friday morning before starting the Pitocin.

I think Kyle and I just walked around in a daze the whole rest of that afternoon, as we got everything all ready to go! I was told to eat a good dinner before going to the hospital, so my mom, Kyle, and I met his parents for a yummy but quick dinner at Nantucket Grill before Kyle and I headed downtown to Duke Regional (after a quick phone call to my dad, who had just gotten into town arrived at the restaurant in time to grab our parking space as we left!).

The car ride felt completely surreal, and everything was so calm and peaceful as we checked in.

The nursing staff on the Labor and Deliver floor were all so welcoming and treated us like royalty, apologizing frequently for making us wait just a few minutes while they got our room ready. They shared that it had been a crazy past few days on the floor and that we were lucky to be admitted because the couple scheduled for the induction right after us had to be rescheduled, as there were no more rooms left. Whew! Not sure that we would have been too pleased to have had to reschedule--we were beyond READY to meet our sweet baby boy!

After sending a few texts and taking a few selfies, a nurse showed us to our room, and got us all settled in, just in time for shift changes.

We may or may not have overpacked! #firsttimers

Our new nurse, Stacey, was introduced, and the on-call OB came in to check my dilation and explain the process with the cervix thinner. We were told we'd need to wait just a little longer, which was perfect because my parents had arrived just to familiarize themselves with the hospital and the L&D floor. We visited with them a little longer before it was finally time to get the show on the road! We said our good-byes and wished them a good night's sleep, just in time for the OB to arrive to administer the cervix thinner and give me an Ambien to help me get a good night's sleep!

The Ambien obviously worked because I fell right to sleep (poor Kyle, was not as lucky, as he did not get anything to help him sleep and was also toughing it out on the terribly uncomfortable couch in the room).

Around 1am, I was awakened by a gush of water and told Kyle that I was either peeing uncontrollably (which for all I know very well could have been the case!) or my water had broken. We called in Stacey and let her know what had happened. She said that if it kept gushing, then my water had broken, just in time for me to feel another gush as I tried to lay back down in the bed. That was all she needed to confirm that my water had, indeed, broken on it's own! She said that was great and that we'd be able to go ahead and start the Pitocin right then!

We got super excited and hopes of Baby Oliver making his appearance even earlier than anticipated were in full force! I even, at the moment, didn't care that I wasn't going to get my promised shower and breakfast on Friday morning!

This is where things start to get a little foggy for me (thank you, Ambien!). I don't really remember much else about those wee hours of Friday morning, which is why I think this is a perfect place to end Part 1! I'll be back with Part 2 (thanks to the help of Kyle's memory!) soon!

Oliver, words cannot even begin to capture the excitement your daddy and I were feeling on this day! Knowing that we were so close to holding you in our arms---ahhh, happy tears remembering that anticipation!

Welcome to the World, Oliver Robert!

Our hearts could not have been more full as we welcomed our sweet baby boy, Oliver Robert into the world! 

Born August 22nd at 3:03am

Weight- 9 lbs. 4 oz.

21.5 inches long

Nothing about the delivery went as planned, and the recovery has been super rough for me, but we would do it all over again in a heartbeat because we are so in love with our baby boy. 

I'm looking forward to sharing his birth story and more about our first days home with him once things calm down around here!

For now, we are loving snuggling with our little man!

Happy Thursday!