Five on Friday-- Wedding Anniversary Edition

Happy Friday! I'm linking up with the lovely April, Natasha, Christina, and Darci for Five on Friday!

Today is a super special day because Kyle and I celebrate our FIFTH wedding anniversary! I don't know where the last 5 years have gone and don't feel nearly old enough to have been married for five years, but I do know they've been five of the happiest years of my life!

Dessert from our First Anniversary dinner!

And, in honor of our anniversary, my Five on Friday post will highlight my top 5 reflections from our 5 years of marriage!

ONE

Every year of marriage is special, but there's nothing like that FIRST year!--- Oh my! When I think back to that first year I can't help but grin ear-to-ear. What fun times we had! Everything was a first! We closed on our first home just about a month after our wedding, took an amazing honeymoon (and my first time traveling to Europe!) over the Summer, and Kyle started his first job. Every holiday celebrated was that much more fun because it was our first you-fill-in-the-blank holiday together! I just remember being overwhelmed with joy at the "team" Kyle and I had become and how much more fun it was tackling all of those firsts in our life as a married couple! Even cooler-- yes, I think a ton of firsts happen in that first year, but you can't cover them all, and I think it's fun to still be finding that same joy in the "firsts" even as we start our 6th year of marriage!

Our first home (although we didn't take this picture until December of that first year!)

We had so much fun making our house our home! Teamwork makes the dreamwork ;)

We certainly didn't hate getting to unpack all of our wedding presents!

First meal hosted in our home! My grandparents and mom were the lucky guests. :)

First time traveling together...I still get butterflies thinking about how much that trip strengthened our relationship.  There is no better way to solidify a new marriage than traveling abroad together. You see a different side of each other when you know, say, you walk a mile to the train station to catch your train from Nice to Venice only to see absolutely no one there at all because the train workers had gone on strike. We truly had the best time and realized that we make just about perfect travel buddies for each other! 

Our First Christmas!


Our first anniversary! Loved that the top layer of our cake still tasted yummy!

TWO

Healthy Communication is Key--- I am a communicator by nature. Possibly even an over-communicator. I want to sit and talk out every feeling I have. I love understanding people and being understood. Kyle is a bottler by nature. He wanted to keep the peace and would just brush things under the rug for the sake of not arguing. It wasn't worth it to bring it up, in his mind, until I brought up something and then he'd unload the last five things I'd done to upset him. As you can imagine, our communication styles did not mesh, and we had to work really, really hard (and are still working) to find the happy medium! It's been a healthy balance of give and take from each of us, and we've really gotten into such a groove. We know how each other tick, and we know how each other appreciates an issue being brought up, so we really are able to respect each other's communication needs, which has been such a great thing for our relationship! This is one area where I can really see the progress over time in our relationship, and it's an area where we both feel really proud of ourselves for our growth!

THREE

Being Proactive Can Save a Lot of Headaches--- This one comes from our counselor. :) One of the best things Kyle and I did for our relationship was start seeing a counselor this past summer. The pastor at our church and his wife, who we respect and adore, have always sung the praises of counseling. They are such an amazing couple and such great parents, and I think for me, personally, they helped kind of reframe the idea that counseling isn't always just something you start when there's a problem but it can also be something you do to prevent a problem. Our amazing counselor, Dawn, has given us so many tools, but I think one of the most helpful ones was encouraging us to be proactive when we know we're going into stressful situations that we know could lead us to fight. We had talked about how we sometimes ended up fighting when we went to visit family because we both felt so pulled by our families being in the same town and feeling this pressure to have equal time. Now, instead of waiting for the fight to happen, we sit down before we go into town and really talk about what each other is wanting from the family time and how we're going to split the time. We're also then able to communicate with our families the plan so it's just all out there and open in advance. What a relief it has been since we've started being proactive! And, we use this tool in all kinds of situations!

FOUR

There's a time to be serious and a time to laugh (or dance) --- I know first three were more on the serious sides, but I think one of my most favorite parts of my marriage is the amount of fun that Kyle and I have together. The laughter. The silliness. The dance parties. The teasing. Life can be hard. Marriage can be stressful. Jobs can be taxing. Money can be tight. It's easy to let the monotony of every day life steal some of that carefree part of your marriage. Laughing and being goofy with your love is definitely the best medicine for keeping joy in your relationship even if other parts of life aren't as fun and especially if they are.  

Hubby vs. Wife ---"Who Wore it Best" model-off. Judge all you want. We know we're ridiculous!

FIVE

Date night once a week, 1 weekend a quarter, 1 week a year--- Advice from my hometown pastor who performed our wedding ceremony for how often you should have couple time--and believe me, this is good advice and advice we will certainly be glad to take in this next phase of life we're about to embark on called parenthood. Date nights, weekend getaways (just the two of you), and a longer vacation (at least once a year if you can...even if it's a staycation!) = time to connect, and I'm sure there's no real explanation needed for why this is great! Kyle and I have so valued our commitment to keeping Dr. Queen's advice, and it has benefitted us tremendously. Date nights give us time away from our house (where there are so many distractions) and time to just talk and catch up. And, if we feel like we've had plenty of talk time already that week, we'll make it interesting and play the Question Game, which is something we've done since our high school dating days. Weekend getaways give us that chance to refresh and restore. And our vacations have been so amazing for giving us shared, new experiences together! 

So, there you have it. My top 5 fave take-aways from these tremendously amazing 5 years of marriage!