Teamwork at it's finest!
Kyle and I have been married for about a year and a half, and we've definitely learned our fair share of lessons. About a month ago, we had a conversation that I had dreaded for a while, but in all honestly, I knew it was bound to happen. Teaching is SUCH a stressful job. It is emotionally and physically exhausting. It's also one of those jobs where you never, ever feel like you're "on top" of things, even if you've given up your whole Sunday to get ready for the week. Luckily, Kyle's job is one that he can leave at the door when he walks out the door. And he has been so incredibly supportive of me. He does the majority of the cooking. He's been my shoulder to cry on. He's been my everything. I would sometimes mention to him that I felt like our relationship had become very "me" centered and that I worried that one day he would come to resent me. But he always brushed it off, saying that he didn't feel that way at all and that he wanted to be there for me in all these ways. Well, it didn't get to the point where he resented me (thank goodness we had that convo when we did!), but over the last 2 years of me teaching, he did start to feel like he was starting to lose himself in the process of putting me first. Like, he would stop doing some of the things that he enjoyed, like writing or listening to music, when I was at grad school because he'd want to make sure the house was clean when I got home so I wouldn't be stressed. He's just that kind and caring of a person. And, it broke my heart to hear that. Because we are a partnership...a team. And our team had become very one-sided and selfish. One can only give so much of themselves. But, It was both of our faults-- mine for not being more self-reliant and for not making more of an effort to focus on Kyle, and Kyle's for brushing it off when I tried to bring it up and not being more vocal about his needs.
But, that conversation was the best thing that's happened because since then, we've been an even stronger, more united team than ever. We've started running together, and it's been so awesome to have Kyle coach me through this! We started this past Monday and ran 3 times together this week...which is pretty great considering I have grad school at night and we totally skipped exercise altogether on Friday and Saturday! I love our "stolen" moments during that run with no cell phone, computer, or t.v. to distract us! And, I think Kyle likes it because I'm too out of breath to talk...and let's face it, he loves to talk!
|First Day of Running...Trying to Look Confident...Freaking out inside!|
And, y'all don't make fun, but we've also started couponing and grocery shopping together. It's really fun to share in those small successes together...even if it is something silly, like finding out the shave gel you wanted is on sale, and you have a coupon for it! He bought me this cute little coupon organizing binder a month ago when I was starting to try it, and he's actually gotten pretty into it. The only problem is that he says he wished he'd got a more neutral color binder! I'm not thinking Kyle will be taking any "solo" trips to the grocery store with that hot pink binder!
I've also been trying to get involved more in the kitchen so that Kyle doesn't feel like the cooking burden isn't all on him. In my defense, Kyle enjoys cooking, and I'm a lousy cook. But, even still, that doesn't mean that Kyle likes to cook all.the.time. So, we've cooked together more, and it's been another way that we've really built up our partnership. Sometimes, if he's lucky, I'll even bake for him! Welll...I guess you could say it's more for both of us!
|Kyle on Chili Patrol|
|Me on Cupcake Patrol!|
In the grand scheme of things, I feel like having "that" conversation, as hard as it was to hear, has really been a game changer for us! And, since we're in this for the long haul, it's nice to know that we can always continue to grow together...even after 8 years of being together!